There were some slight technical issues while you were, or should have been, sleeping. But don’t worry! They are resolved! In fact, you probably had no idea there was a problem until we brought it up. I just don’t want there to be any secrets between us. That’s no way to start a relationship with your readers.
And to continue in this vein of honesty, I will not remember your birthday. That doesn’t mean it isn’t important! I don’t mean to imply that you don’t give me joy. It’s something I have a problem with. And I know you’ll get upset with me, even thought I’ve stated this openly from the beginning. As long as we both understand each other, we’ll be good. We’ll make this work.
Also, I probably won’t remember your name. And if I see you at a party, I’ll struggle to think of where I remember you from and end up avoiding you because I won’t remember. And it is nothing that you’ve done. Don’t feel bad. And if you do feel bad, remember that I’ll feel much worse when I banish myself to a bathroom stall to cry and eat my pigs in a blanket alone.
So, to sum things up, the site had some problems but now it doesn’t.