Blank It

Holy crapping shat rackets. A comic. A new comic.

Welcome to Blank It. Come one, come all. Old and new. I’ll be your Master of Travesties, you can call me Lemmo. Some of you might remember me as “The Internet’s Hot Soup”, but I’ve decided to stop hiding behind the false veneer that I am either incalescent or made of beefy broth. But it’s true that I’m on the Internet, so I still have that going for me.

This is like when two superheroes collide in combat, only to come out as a championed duo unlike the world has ever seen. Aric and I have both been doing this comic and comedy racket for almost a decade both online and off, and we’ve decided to join forces to see if his comedy chocolate belongs with my artistic peanut butter. So far, the flavor has been delectable.

Seriously, though. We’ve been having a lot of fun with this, and now we’re really excited to finally share it with you guys. Come in, grab some couch, stop by the forums, follow our Twitters if you feel inclined, and enjoy the show.

We’ll start out a little slow, doing a trot and canter before we get into a full-blown ridiculous gallop of insanity. Stick around and have some fun with us.

Oh, hello. I didn’t hear you come in. Can I take your coat? You don’t have one? Well, how was I supposed to know that? You didn’t use the “I don’t have a coat” emoticon. And now I look like the jerk.

Well, as long as you’re here, you might as well read the comic that Lemmo drew and I made words for. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Aric, there aren’t many words.” I’ll have you know that pauses are words too. In fact, pauses can contain an infinite amount of words. So I wrote an infinite amount of words for this comic strip. How about that?

So we have one strip up. Woo! Pop the champaign cork and watch your eyes. On Thursday, we will double the amount of strips we have up! And next Thursday it will be doubled again! Then it gets much harder to double things. But rest assured, things will be double!

Stick around a while, leave some comments, visit the forums, subscribe to the RSS feed, and do whatever it is that comic readers do. But whatever you do, don’t take our comic strip and remove one of the characters. It has been done.

I put my faith in the comic automatically updating at midnight, and it borked. I’ll let Aric the supergenius deal with it when he wakes up. In the meantime, I’ll stare it into submission or something. I dunno. It’s late, I’m on caffeine. Bear with us, folks. We’re still ironing the kinks out.

There were some slight technical issues while you were, or should have been, sleeping. But don’t worry! They are resolved! In fact, you probably had no idea there was a problem until we brought it up. I just don’t want there to be any secrets between us. That’s no way to start a relationship with your readers.

And to continue in this vein of honesty, I will not remember your birthday. That doesn’t mean it isn’t important! I don’t mean to imply that you don’t give me joy. It’s something I have a problem with. And I know you’ll get upset with me, even thought I’ve stated this openly from the beginning. As long as we both understand each other, we’ll be good. We’ll make this work.

Also, I probably won’t remember your name. And if I see you at a party, I’ll struggle to think of where I remember you from and end up avoiding you because I won’t remember. And it is nothing that you’ve done. Don’t feel bad. And if you do feel bad, remember that I’ll feel much worse when I banish myself to a bathroom stall to cry and eat my pigs in a blanket alone.

So, to sum things up, the site had some problems but now it doesn’t.

Oh, the overwhelming insecurities of a new website. Is the comic pretty enough? Am I getting enough fiber? We’re only one week along and I already feel fat and unattractive, and I crave vast amounts of raspberry yogurt. My doctor says that’s perfectly normal, but what does he know, I bet he’s banging the secretary!

Okay, let’s just calm down and breathe. Find our zen place. Okay. Whooo.

Finding a drawing routine is still tricky for me, but I’m getting the hang of it. I’m usually drawing either Tuesday or Thursday evenings, and Sundays. Here’s a hint, though. Whenever I’m working on the comic, like a good Web 2.0 production, I’ll be streaming it over Ustream. Don’t bother memorizing that link, we’ve put a button up there on the menu. There. No, over a little bit. Oh Jesus. Hand me the mouse. There.

Also, if anonymity isn’t really your thing and you want to chat us up, feel free to drop us an email. We both have blankitcomics.com email addresses, of course, I’m Lemmo@ and he’s Aric@. Just keep in mind I don’t use a spam filter, I use a doberman.

Any last pieces of business? No? Okay then, have a wonderful afternoon, and help yourselves to the stale bagels and room temperature coffee on the way out.